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& it's too late;
you don't know what you've got till its gone;
it is arguable that i feel your absence more strongly than i felt your presence.
its not supposed to hurt his way; i need you i need you i need you. tell me; why.
it is possible that this means i'm just an idealist; someone who doesn't accept true value. Maybe i take things i see and make them into things i want to see; maybe what i saw in you was what i wanted to see.
the whole world is moving; and i'm standing still.
it is unlikely that an idea could cause this much pain. just an idea, and an empty idea at that. but the emptiness of this idea is overwhelming and encompassing. i don't know what to do with it. all this emptiness needs somewhere to stay.
seven days since i've seen your face; seven nights i've laid to waste.
it is typical that all i wanted from you wasn't even yours; and now all i want from anyone is you. the pettiness and irony of the entire situation is not lost on me; but. But. but you linger. i can't get you off my mind. your words and smell and smile. how can i forget so quickly? how could you? why did you? but its done. it doesn't matter.
and people asking how i'm doing; but every question still has you & i say i'm fine.
it is unrealistic for me to expect this to be important. it isn't. everyone has things they need to get over, this is just something else to add to my exceptionally long list. Something feels unfinished, and yet maybe nothing is ever finished. Something tells me there is something left to be told here; but i ignore something. i ignore everything, because i can't hear that there is something left. i know what's left. there is room. it is too much room to hope.
there's a chill in the heat
it is embarrassing that you still have such an effect. you don't make me incandescently happy; to be clear. the feeling can best be expressed as contentment; or maybe an oblivious sort of floating. in the same way you don't notice that you're in perfect health until you get sick, or you don't realize how bright the sun is until night has fallen and you're out of natural light or you don't register the background music until the playing stops, i didn't feel it there; but i feel the space left behind. a phantom you; to keep me warm.
i hear a funny hesitation of a heart thats never really sure;
it is comforting that after all this is over, i'll know. i already know about me. i know what i want. i know that i'm not broken. i know that i can be sure; even when i take longer to process. i think i still see everything as finite. all good things must come to an end. i had my amazing perfections, a shining moment that i can look back to with longing, but i lived through with intolerable speed. after something so amazing, how can i expect more? it would be unfair to even think it.
it's all misunderstood.
it is logical that i believe this, and yet.and yet i find it difficult to accept. there was too much to just let go. fighting for it wont do any good, so instead i dwell on memories and insignificant moments since; all of it going in one direction. this is too much for me; i cannot help but to feel that everything is going to end like a night in may.
more than anyone; darling
it is unfathomable that anything could happen. unfathomable because i won't allow myself to fathom it. there have been too many significant may nights in my life, forewarned is forearmed, they say. and i know it will be better. still, i feel like i'm waiting for a shot. i've always handled those well.
trembling, you get me every time
it is dread that keeps me awake at night, long after both sides of the pillow are no longer cool. i'd like to let go, and let this carry me away.
but i want wanna wanna be your love.
it is inconceivable thatyou are this is all i will ever feel.
it is arguable that i feel your absence more strongly than i felt your presence.
its not supposed to hurt his way; i need you i need you i need you. tell me; why.
it is possible that this means i'm just an idealist; someone who doesn't accept true value. Maybe i take things i see and make them into things i want to see; maybe what i saw in you was what i wanted to see.
the whole world is moving; and i'm standing still.
it is unlikely that an idea could cause this much pain. just an idea, and an empty idea at that. but the emptiness of this idea is overwhelming and encompassing. i don't know what to do with it. all this emptiness needs somewhere to stay.
seven days since i've seen your face; seven nights i've laid to waste.
it is typical that all i wanted from you wasn't even yours; and now all i want from anyone is you. the pettiness and irony of the entire situation is not lost on me; but. But. but you linger. i can't get you off my mind. your words and smell and smile. how can i forget so quickly? how could you? why did you? but its done. it doesn't matter.
and people asking how i'm doing; but every question still has you & i say i'm fine.
it is unrealistic for me to expect this to be important. it isn't. everyone has things they need to get over, this is just something else to add to my exceptionally long list. Something feels unfinished, and yet maybe nothing is ever finished. Something tells me there is something left to be told here; but i ignore something. i ignore everything, because i can't hear that there is something left. i know what's left. there is room. it is too much room to hope.
there's a chill in the heat
it is embarrassing that you still have such an effect. you don't make me incandescently happy; to be clear. the feeling can best be expressed as contentment; or maybe an oblivious sort of floating. in the same way you don't notice that you're in perfect health until you get sick, or you don't realize how bright the sun is until night has fallen and you're out of natural light or you don't register the background music until the playing stops, i didn't feel it there; but i feel the space left behind. a phantom you; to keep me warm.
i hear a funny hesitation of a heart thats never really sure;
it is comforting that after all this is over, i'll know. i already know about me. i know what i want. i know that i'm not broken. i know that i can be sure; even when i take longer to process. i think i still see everything as finite. all good things must come to an end. i had my amazing perfections, a shining moment that i can look back to with longing, but i lived through with intolerable speed. after something so amazing, how can i expect more? it would be unfair to even think it.
it's all misunderstood.
it is logical that i believe this, and yet.and yet i find it difficult to accept. there was too much to just let go. fighting for it wont do any good, so instead i dwell on memories and insignificant moments since; all of it going in one direction. this is too much for me; i cannot help but to feel that everything is going to end like a night in may.
more than anyone; darling
it is unfathomable that anything could happen. unfathomable because i won't allow myself to fathom it. there have been too many significant may nights in my life, forewarned is forearmed, they say. and i know it will be better. still, i feel like i'm waiting for a shot. i've always handled those well.
trembling, you get me every time
it is dread that keeps me awake at night, long after both sides of the pillow are no longer cool. i'd like to let go, and let this carry me away.
but i want wanna wanna be your love.
it is inconceivable that
nostalgic
calm
anxious
